The Other Way Around

The Other Way Around

I used to think I have to be beautiful for people to love me. I have to have a certain look. Like those girls in the magazine. Size zero, long legs, sensual lips, body worthy of a sexy lingerie. The influence of the media. It basically says, if you don’t look like this, you’re not pretty.

So I learned and experimented. Trying make-up, attempting to follow the latest fashion trend, trying to look like the actresses or models I see on the TV. Exercising not to be fit and healthy but rather to be skinny. Going on crazy diets.

I was miserable. Barely had any energy left to smile, let alone to be happy. I was irritable, easily provoked and emotionally wrecked. Yes, I lost weight but I didn’t feel beautiful. I felt like a withered flower. I felt like my world was going to crumble if I stopped my diet and so I was trapped in the circle of hell. Wanting to be happy yet couldn’t drag myself out of misery.

In the end, charity, the act of kindness, being kind to others, simply being me, were what snapped me out of my reverie. It was like waking up from a terrible dream. The illusion shattered. I don’t have to become beautiful for people to love me. Love is not to be sought. It is something to be given.

And then another realisation struck. You don’t become beautiful for love. It’s the other way around. Love makes you beautiful. Being loved is what makes you glow from the inside. The rest, the make up, the fancy dress, they are just additions.

Nothing makes you more beautiful than being loved and to be loved, you have to first give because love cannot be bought like cosmetics. You have to give. Sincerely. Give without expectations, without desire, not even desire to be loved in exchange for your gifts.

The pleasure of giving itself is enough to make you shine. To be loved, it lights you up.

You don’t become beautiful for love or to be loved.

Love makes you beautiful.



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Controller Companies

Life Writer of Controller Companies

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